The power of positive questions

I learned recently that our brains have the tendency to focus on negative things. But by asking about good things, you can trick your brain into remembering something nice.

In Steal Like an Artist, Austin Kleon recommends keeping a simple log book for each day about what you did and offers this advice: Instead of asking, “what happened today,” ask, “what was the best thing that happened today?”

I’ve been following his suggestion when my wife and I have dinner together each night. It’s a small change, but it’s shown a marked improvement over asking, “how was your day?” I find that it forces each of us out of responding with automatic answers or focusing on the drama around us. We end up sharing more about ourselves that way too.

It brings me back to how it was when we were dating — we were learning so much about each other and discovering new things every time we went out. But the thing I liked most about dating and getting to know her was the feeling I had then, and still do — that I want to know what she likes and like what she likes, too.